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Well, she’s been great. She’s only asked for it twice - once at 5:50pm and once again shortly after. Now it’s 8:15pm. I’ve wanted to feed her so bad several times. I’m doing worse, I admit it. We’ll see how night #1 goes. If I remember right, my son was worse the 2nd day/night. Deep breath. More tears. More nostalgia, before it’s even really gone.
Day 32
Tonight is actually the first night I’m staying up while he’s sleeping and not just cleaning or something. Usually, as soon as he’s out I try to sleep or feel obligated to pick up. You know what? F*** it. It will be there tomorrow. And so what if he wakes up and I’m tired. He’ll sleep again sometime. Besides, I’m going to call on my husband a little more. Maybe.
Day
OUCH! What is this sore on my nipple and why am I getting it? A little white clogged pore or something that hurts like hell when he sucks!
Day 26
Did I ever write about the sitz bath or sitting on that stupid donut? I feel a need to say how degrading and painful the first two weeks after birth are. People always talk about labor pain -–hell, get the epidural and you’re set for that. It’s after that’s awful. I was so scared to take a poop, it hurt to sit, and it hurt to get up once I was sitting. I’d lift up and my husband would slide that donut thing under my butt. I’d use my precious 10 minutes alone to go sit on the toilet and do one of those sitz bath things. And I didn’t even want to take those things home from the hospital - I never thought I’d use them and even if I did I never thought I’d admit it. But my husbands said, hey, take them just in case - they’re free! Thanks for being cheap, honey. Oh, and thoughtful. And utterly unfazed about human functions. This is from me, someone who never even peed in front of my husband until recently. Now I don’t care. Help me. My privates hurt. They f***ing hurt. And don’t even think about that….
Day 25
His eyes fill with water, but no tears roll. I read that he should have tears by now, so I worry. Then friend with a newborn says, no, just their eyes fill up. Well, his do do that, so why did the book say “tears”? Aren’t tears what roll down your cheeks? Why do the books make me worry?
Day 21/22
This is how neurotic I am.
4:15-6:30am R (20), L (20+), burp, cry, water bottle…. Too tired.
6:30-8:30am sleep with me
8:30-9:10am R/L, poop
9:10-11:20am sleep with me
11:20-12:10 L/R, pee
12:10-1:45pm sleep or wake? wet.
1:50pm L
2:10pm R (Cyndi here)
3:40-5:45pm sleep with me
5:45-6pm R, poop x2
6:15-7pm L
7-9pm sleep in chair (fell asleep by himself *** Note: milestone***)
9-9:30pm L/R
9:40-?? Sleep with daddy
12, 3, 5, 6 am wake to eat
8am L, poop, bath, R, awake
10-11:40am sleep
11:40am poop x 2
11:45am R/L/R/L
Day 20
You love your hair washed & combed and your face rinsed. When I first saw that scrub brush they used on your head it looked so hard! Like a kitchen sink scrubber! But I’ve found it’s actually soft and you love it.
Day 19
You will not sleep today. You’ve barely slept even in my arms – and not at all when I’ve tried to put you down. Oh, baby, I’m soooo tired….
Day 18
9 pounds, 11 oz, 22” long and 14½ head circumference! Our 2 week check up was smashing! The doc says our baby is “thriving”. And while he said I couldn’t overfeed him, he did ask if I was interested in becoming a wet nurse! And, I was talking to a student doctor about how they should gain back their birth weight by this visit - he realized that our healthy baby had gained almost two pounds (as he dropped to 8, 1 when he left the hospital) and suggested I start spreading out his feedings.
Baby has acne. Doc said it’s him getting rid of my hormones. Hopefully he’ll get rid of them for good, as I don’t have the porcelain skin one dreams of. I worry about him having bad qualities from either of us - my skin, his dad’s (and my) hairy self…. Could he have… we’ll, when trying to pick and choose, God please let him stay healthy and full.
Auntie went with us to the doc. Thank goodness. How does one carry the carrier-thing, the baby (because of course he’s crying in the carrier thing, so he’s not actually in it), his backpack of stuff, my purse…. Jeez. Anyway, the nurse made me nervous and I put his outfit on backwards after the checkup! Don’t think anyone noticed, but I did call Auntie and tell her about it later. She’s a good Auntie. Very protective and so in awe.
Day 16
First smile! I swear it was on purpose. He looked at me and smiled! I took my hair down from its usual pull-up-in-any-way-it-works style and he smiled at me!
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